If I were to mention the name Eric Arthur Hammer to you it would probably bring little more than a blank stare. If I told you he’s more well known as “Doc Hammer” then you Venture Bros. fans might nod in recognition. But were you cartoon geeks aware that the good Doctor is a veteran of Goth acts like Mors Syphilitica and Requiem in White – a band that included his ex-wife Lisa Hammer who also happens to voice Triana Orpheus on the show – and that he currently records music under the name Weep? No, you didn’t know that. That’s why you pay me to bring you this information.

By the way, I’m still waiting for my checks, assholes. We gotta eat here at CastleDTC, y’know.

Anyway, Weep now brings you a free MP3, because you deserve it. You work hard, you endure all life’s myriad hardships. So have…a cover of Pop cypher Rhiannon’s “Shut Up And Drive.” Yeah, you read that right. Let’s have some fun. Here are the top ten reason’s Hammer chose to cover this party perfect piece of fluff;

1. Too many bands use their choice of cover songs as a proof of credibility. Like by covering some obscure Big Star song they are now made cool. That’s not the Weep way! Weep is cool because we open the window! No…that’s not a metaphor. We are literally cooled by the breeze. Get it? Never Mind.

2. Covering a song we really like would invariably lead us to a song that is inferior to the original. Why start off in second place?

3. When we first head the Rhiannon version (in, like, Urban Outfitters, pumped through the PA like so much fart) we believed it to be a cover of Blue Monday…So, the song hidden in that ridiculous pop song is one of dignified pedigree. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Unless it’s a really wicked cool painting of a dragon. Then you can kinda tell what’s inside.

4. Making a faux pop-hit is kinda fun. Getting that loud, over produced vocal sound, getting the bass and kick right in the pocket… That’s a fun little challenge for a band that likes to hide its vocals behind thunderous drums. FUN! You think we are marketing masters, or in a band band to pay the rent? No…

5. Doc desperately wanted to tell the world that he has “a whole lot of boom in the back.”

6. Fred loves the distortion pedal on his bass. It’s about time we featured it.

7. Rhiannon’s version of the song has this inappropriate, fake hip-hop breakdown in the middle. We have freed the song of that mistake for you.

8. It’s a song that gets really stuck in your head. By covering it we have freed it from being an insidious loop in our brain. And as a bonus we getto show you what that loop sounded like. Because our brain doesn’t have Rhiannon’s voice.

9. It’s a good song. Admit it! Nobody is looking. You can say whatever you like. Weep won’t judge. We love you. Okay, fine, hide behind irony. You can like it because it’s a big goofy pop hit and you know better. Let it be a guilty pleasure.

10. Why not “Shut Up and Drive?” Do you really want Weep to poop on your favorite song?

So swallow your false sense of pride and engage in a little frivolous enjoyment (hint: this is how people with personalities and a sense of humor have fun). Right click and fucking save as here. We won’t tell anybody you did it.

Jesus, you people are uptight.

Oh, and you can buy Weep’s latest CD, Never Ever at the Projekt site here.