So I spent some time in the wilderness of the Rocky Mountains and my vacation wasn’t just from DTC but from the internet as a whole. When I came back to civilization I had all these emails asking me what I thought about the new Rammstein video. My response? Rammstein are still around?! And they have a new video?!?!

I kind of look at Rammstein the same way I view Insane Clown Posse. It seems inconceivable that there’s been this amount of longevity in such a one dimensional Nu Metal pop rock act that initially came across like a complete joke. I was introduced to the band from Reznor’s soundtrack to the David Lynch flick Lost Highway. I believe that was around ’96 or so. Yet the Neue Deutsche Härte sound, of which Rammstein are practitioners, was actually pioneered about twenty years ago by Oomph! who are a much more striking act. And recently a newer band called Eisbrecher takes the sound that’s been popularized by Rammstein and gives it some much needed intelligence and vitality.

So I guess it makes sense that, out of desperation, Rammstein would resort to juvenile sexuality and pornographic images in an effort to galvanize their base of fans. When you hear Rammsein in the club it’s typically because someone requested hits from over a decade ago like “Du Hast” or “Engel.” And I typically want to hunt down the person who requested those overplayed nuggets and punch them in the throat. Yet with those songs you recall the music and not their forgettable videos. Having sat through the video for “Pussy” (from the new album Liebe ist für alle da) a few times and then listened to the song without the visuals I can tell you that beyond the initial, cheap shock value the song is instantly forgettable. Sure, the video has gone viral on the web and everyone is giggling like schoolchildren over the graphic penetration and cumshots but once the hype subsides there won’t be a damn thing left of any substance to carry the recording even though the song was apparently written in response to the practice of “sex tourism” – booking a vacation to a specific destination for the sole intent of engaging in “relations” with the locals. It’s just a really bad song with even dumber lyrics than we’ve grown accustomed to hearing when Till Lindemann tries his hand at English.

But hey, I’m not going to sit here and piss all over Rammstein’s parade. They’ve managed to amass more “fans” than all the acts that do what they do so much better. Good for them. They’ve been able to sustain a career in music for a decade and a half. Congratulations.

Too bad they can’t get laid in Germany or, apparently, anywhere else without the assistance of CGI.