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 HAIKU 
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Joined: Mon Oct 28, 2002 7:00 pm
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Location: S St Paul
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Girl, my love for you
It cannot be quantified
Okay, fifty bucks


Thu Dec 09, 2004 1:46 pm
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Quit humping my leg
Get the hell away from me
Stupid gay pitbull

--Rob "cat person" Kemmetmueller


Wed Dec 15, 2004 12:41 pm
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What is that I spy
Floating there in my coffee?
Damned filthy seagulls

Whose idea was it?
A Starbuck's out on the pier
Gimme a refund

--Rob "<i>that's</i> not foam!!" Kemmetmueller


Wed Dec 15, 2004 12:48 pm
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I slash the skin
It is running rampant
WHO AM I?


Wed Dec 15, 2004 1:36 pm
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Ujika wrote:
I slash the skin
It is running rampant
WHO AM I?


That's not a haiku. Haiku is 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables, no rhyming. A proper haiku would read:

I slash the fair skin
And it runs rampant once more
Who am I to you?

-or-

Small children dance by
In poorly-made black clothing
Damn Hot Topic sale

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--Rose McGowan

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Last edited by johnnym77 on Wed Dec 15, 2004 2:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Wed Dec 15, 2004 2:29 pm
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three bucks? no waaaayyyy
I totally know the band
I fucked the bassist.

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Rockula! wrote:
Whooda thought that you could get supress a guy's urge kick someones ass by waving pussy in his face?


Wed Dec 15, 2004 2:29 pm
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I just can't believe
we're still writing haikus
they aren't improving


Thu Dec 16, 2004 2:01 pm
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Rob "scroll back for inspiration" Kemmetmueller presents:

GodCoversHisEyes wrote:
his dick is so short
he pisses on his own balls
what a fuckin' chode


That happens sometimes
but not because my dick's short
my balls are That Big


Thu Jan 06, 2005 11:57 pm
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Location: St. Paul
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Now fondling myself
I think of the Pope's bad health
I'm not next in line

Torque-ing my shoulder
I give myself reacharound
Shoot, I came too fast

Silly Cardinals
scheming and waiting for death
What a huge turn-on.


Wed Mar 09, 2005 12:19 pm
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Simon's vapid life
revolves around beating off
and rank flatulence

How did this happen
What kind of childhood had he
Oh how the mind reels


Wed Mar 09, 2005 1:16 pm
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Big can of Crisco
But no deep fat fryer here
So what is it for?


Wed Mar 09, 2005 6:26 pm
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You should ask Simon
Crisco lubes him up real good
when he maturbates


Thu Mar 10, 2005 11:03 am
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It's been a long time
Since I've seen a clean haiku
What the fvck? perverts!

Poems about nature
Is what all of these should be
Whack off in the woods


Thu Mar 10, 2005 1:43 pm
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I would much rather
muck up threads with perversion
It's what I'm about


Thu Mar 10, 2005 6:15 pm
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<i>I vant to suck it
und svallow ev'ry last drrop</i>
No, your <u>blood</u>, dumbass

--Rob "the oft-misunderstood vampire" Kemmetmueller


Thu Apr 28, 2005 10:36 am
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I can't keep that down!
Practicing for Fear Factor?
Thanks for cooking, though

--Rob "let's eat <i>out</i> next time. I'll buy" Kemmetmueller


Thu Apr 28, 2005 11:35 pm
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Does anybody,
(I mean anyone at all)
think this is funny?


Tue May 03, 2005 2:50 pm
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Frost your haiku, no
it didn't make me giggle
but God and Rob, KILLER!

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Tue May 03, 2005 3:08 pm
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Anticipation
What does Simon have in store?
Nothing dirty, right?

Procrastination
When is he gonna post it?
Get off yer ass, boy!


Tue May 24, 2005 4:00 pm
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Location: St. Paul
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I had to do it
Now I own a sledge hammer
It's time to destroy

Kitchen, 2 bathrooms
I hate you so much it hurts
Goodbye sixties trash!

As for wicked shitz:
Installing Pope-shaped toilet
Holy water flush

To baptize one's sh1t,
Mutter meaningful prayer
Jiggle the handle.


Mon Jun 06, 2005 12:58 pm
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Chances are quite good
the only jiggling you'll do
involves your pecker


Mon Jun 06, 2005 2:21 pm
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My stomach rumbles
I sure could use some dinner
I just ate my lunch

Large kielbasa
Cut in two perfect pieces
Cold in Ziploc bag

Microwaved on HIGH
Sizzling links of desire
Polish sweaty meat

Burned hole in Ziploc
One tumbles to the carpet
Shock. Regret. Disgust.

To the sink I run
The 3 Second Rule intact
I rinse off and eat.


Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:41 pm
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As if it mattered
Anything goes in your mouth
No matter the filth


Wed Jun 29, 2005 7:31 pm
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Location: Thunder Bay
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Where is the writing?
Have you all forgotten how?
I crave sloppy prose.


Wed Sep 28, 2005 1:14 am
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Milky white substance
steadily solidifies
on your shaven chin

Flashbulbs pop in face
video camera comes close
INTERNET SLUT BORN

\m/


Thu Dec 29, 2005 3:59 am
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Post Thing
wolf wrote:
Off to work I go


"work" and "" - too strong for my taste... you should really think about tuning it down a bit.


Thu Dec 29, 2005 5:56 am
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Post Re: Thing
Cristian7783 wrote:
wolf wrote:
Off to work I go


"work" and "" - too strong for my taste... you should really think about tuning it down a bit.

Thank you for bumping this old thread, BOT. >8-(


Thu Dec 29, 2005 3:01 pm
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Stupid, stupid bot
You just FAILED your Turing test
That's not a Haiku!


Thu Dec 29, 2005 3:24 pm
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One zero one one
Zero one one zero one
Robot haiku, duh!


Thu Dec 29, 2005 8:37 pm
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Post Re: Thing
Cristian7783 wrote:
<bot-generated gibberish>

Must be a machine
because their userid
ends with a number


Thu Dec 29, 2005 8:40 pm
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Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2002 7:00 pm
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Location: Ehr. well. Im not a local
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IRC BOT AND REAL LIFE
AMAZING HOW THE TWO SHIFT/FLUX
AEON FLUX JUST CAME OUT


AEON FLUX AND BOT
COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT
CLEARLY STUDIO PLOT


two for the price of one.

Whaddaya say we get this thread back up and rolling, eh?

I forgot how much fun this was.

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Fri Dec 30, 2005 2:25 am
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Thirty days have passed
No additions to this thread
Month-long writer's block?


Creative juice flows
but not where I wanted it
Simon, grab a mop!


Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:24 pm
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Little red Corvette
Baby you are much too fast
Prince stuck in my head

Digitalgunfire
Saves the day with a song by
Regenerator


Sat Feb 11, 2006 1:09 am
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Bought Bjork Debut
From the CD store today
just two dollars

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Tue Feb 14, 2006 3:53 pm
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lame coworker leaves
and I will make more money
for this silly job

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And over the ashes the stories are told
Of witches and werewolves and Oak Island gold


Tue Feb 14, 2006 4:06 pm
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So I'm walking past this pickup with the radio blaring some radio evangelist, and he says "blah blah, our non-belief ANGERS God, blah blah", and I found it irresistably humorous that an omniscient omnipotent Entity that isn't constrained by time or space, would still be prone to petty and vindictive emotions. That's quite a fragile ego You've got, Big Fella! I wrote a lil' poem about it.



I know your God well,
and Jesus is not His son;
Pope Innocent is.

Following God's will
often involves much killing;
Adolf was devout.


Fri Feb 17, 2006 7:25 pm
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The smells from my ass
They are not of this planet
I must have been probed...


Mon Feb 27, 2006 9:21 pm
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Punk rock haiku:

Eat Shit Fuck Sleep Die

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Sleep Fuck Shit Eat Die

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Mon Feb 27, 2006 10:15 pm
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More than a feeling
When I hear that old song play

Boston kicks ass, man!

--Rob "playing way too much Guitar Hero" Kemmetmueller


Thu Mar 09, 2006 3:26 pm
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More Like a Migraine

When I hear that old band play

dear lord shoot me now

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Mind crunching rage.


Sun Mar 12, 2006 5:55 am
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The youth of today
have no appreciation
for classic Butt Rock


Sun Mar 12, 2006 6:49 pm
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Autumn has arrived
Death is all around us now
Oooo look! Pretty leaves!


Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:09 am
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ah activity

truly a sweet sound indeed

then silence returns

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Mind crunching rage.


Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:15 pm
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Poo-haiku contest!
Can you guess the first-place prize?
Nutty homemade fudge


Sun Oct 08, 2006 6:01 pm
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I sit and wonder
As cool waters splash below
Will it sink or float?

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Siglines ROCK!


Thu Oct 12, 2006 2:45 pm
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Trenchcoat boy
Had no love
Card shop go boom

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Tue Feb 13, 2007 10:52 pm
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that's not a haiku.


Wed Feb 14, 2007 9:49 am
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First, five syllables
Then a line with seven more
Simple rules, people!


Wed Feb 14, 2007 11:47 am
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I didn't think that
Anyone was listening.
Got rules for line three?

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Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:16 pm
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much better.


Thu Mar 15, 2007 6:14 am
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Well You know, Alis Gray

That really was not haiku,

just one line, really

(just a joke, though, really, I have the highest respect for Alis's abilities.)

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Fri Mar 23, 2007 3:52 pm
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I did it again
and only I can change that
but this is doubtful

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And over the ashes the stories are told
Of witches and werewolves and Oak Island gold


Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:26 pm
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x-fusion.com
I bought the three-disc boxset
it kicks so much ass


Wed Sep 05, 2007 12:58 am
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haiku is supposed to juxtapose two images together. it's a zen thing


oh piggy piggy
hey piggy piggy piggy
ivy in the breeze

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Rockula! wrote:
Whooda thought that you could get supress a guy's urge kick someones ass by waving pussy in his face?


Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:06 pm
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and is supposed to end with a line regarding nature, which you accomplished well, drok.

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Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:11 pm
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I can fart music
sphincter with a lot of range
better than The Cure


Wed Sep 05, 2007 8:58 pm
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thosquanta wrote:
and is supposed to end with a line regarding nature, which you accomplished well, drok.


it's that darn English degree.

I have to use it somewhere.

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Rockula! wrote:
Whooda thought that you could get supress a guy's urge kick someones ass by waving pussy in his face?


Wed Sep 05, 2007 10:12 pm
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it is not english!
also, devil broke the rules.
for shame, fetid weed!

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thosquanta: the band!
http://www.thosquanta.com


Wed Sep 05, 2007 11:32 pm
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Sisters of Mercy,
What are you trying to hide?
Not wearing pants, eh?

Doktor Avalanche
Must have eaten Mexican;
Pull the fire alarm!


Tue Nov 25, 2008 10:33 pm
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Post Re: HAIKU
I signed the guest book.
Had to do what Simon Said.
Now he owns my sooooullll!!!!


Sat May 22, 2010 1:55 am
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