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 The twin cities darkside scene is _________. 
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Rockula! wrote:
I have difficulty shutting the hell up!


*disclaimer* ^not a minnesotan^

:))

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Tue May 08, 2007 6:26 pm
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Super Terrific!


Tue May 08, 2007 11:10 pm
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alisgray wrote:
before I worked retail I didn't have this skill either. and it sometimes fails me utterly. I find "hey, what's your name?" to be a good icebreaker.


It's interesting that you frame it in these terms, and it actually gets at what frightens me. Often times when I talk with complete strangers, I feel like I'm working a customer service position again. There's also the problem of being talked <i>at</i> as opposed to being talked to (ever know anyone that appears to read a script that they repeat verbatim from person to person?).

I guess the problem with finding a common ground is troubling to me. As in the case of many industrial/gawth club nights, I typically find that I have nothing in common (aside from some anthropomorphic traits) with the people there (ironically, not even taste in music). The only commonality seems to be that sometimes they have equally stupid/ridiculous looking boots as I do.


Wed May 09, 2007 8:34 am
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drok_vox wrote:

*disclaimer* ^not a minnesotan^

:))


drok was raised 40 miles east of the border, which is apparently far enough away not to be subject to minnesotans' downfalls.

(but i still love him)

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Wed May 09, 2007 9:58 am
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It's far enough to instill a love of cheese.


Wed May 09, 2007 11:07 am
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thosquanta wrote:
drok_vox wrote:

*disclaimer* ^not a minnesotan^

:))


drok was raised 40 miles east of the border, which is apparently far enough away not to be subject to minnesotans' downfalls.

(but i still love him)


distance notwithstanding, this is a completely bizarre and alien environment, compared to all the other places I've lived and or spent serious time.

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Wed May 09, 2007 1:05 pm
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come on now, are you seriously saying Wis is so much more friendlier & accepting (anyone ever gotten a ticket in wis??) than MN? its all the midwest.. i know your theories on how cold & bitter we all are in minneapolis, but its not that great elsewhere. chicago comes to mind next..


Wed May 09, 2007 1:16 pm
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mzmelissa wrote:
come on now, are you seriously saying Wis is so much more friendlier & accepting


I really have no basis for comparison, as I know I really can't say anything objective about EC, and have never spent any real time in Mke.

Actually, wait- Madison is more friendly, actually. I have spent time there, on my own and with friends, and yeah, I do think Madison is a friendlier tow,

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its all the midwest.. i know your theories on how cold & bitter we all are in minneapolis, but its not that great elsewhere. chicago comes to mind next..


yes, I think chicago is friendlier to new people. as are phoenix, st louis, Pittsburgh, and so on... and, (why do i feel like I'm repeating myself?) i have corroborating witnesses, people who you know as well, and have expressed the same opinions. and, finally, something like 75% of my friends are from OOT. if I make that "non-TC natives" it's like 90%.

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Rockula! wrote:
Whooda thought that you could get supress a guy's urge kick someones ass by waving pussy in his face?


Wed May 09, 2007 1:33 pm
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i've spent a lot of time in madison. and here. ive met people both places. in neither location have i had people come up to me in any welcoming sort of way and in neither place have i had people run and hide if i come up to say hi. of course, i'm not the sort to make any sort of generalization based on my own limited and highly subjective personal experiences because that is a completely asinine thing to do.

eau claire has cheap ass drinks tho, which i put in the plus column.

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Wed May 09, 2007 1:52 pm
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thosquanta wrote:
to make any sort of generalization based on my own limited and highly subjective personal experiences because that is a completely asinine thing to do.


...which is why I've compared notes with so many other transplants...

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Wed May 09, 2007 1:54 pm
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yeah, i noticed that, but first rule of skepticism: never trust testimonials.

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Wed May 09, 2007 1:59 pm
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well, i could break it down into a pie chart or a paredo analysis...

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Rockula! wrote:
Whooda thought that you could get supress a guy's urge kick someones ass by waving pussy in his face?


Wed May 09, 2007 2:03 pm
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i cannot say wisconsin is friendlier.

i lived in between green bay and milwaukee for over 3 years and went out to clubs in both places. the people were pretty crappy that i met. some of the worst people i've met actually.

i also lived in philadelphia, and met some really awesome people that i have lost track of, unfortunately.

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Wed May 09, 2007 2:06 pm
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I can't say one State is better than the next. I've been to New York, New Jersey, New Mexico, Arizona, Illinois (Chicago), Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Arkansas, Georgia, Tennessee, Wisconsin, Florida, Texas, and all over the State of Minnesota. I've encountered the accomodating and the stand-offish in each place. I've encountered the friendly and the down-right rude. No one location has the corner market on any of these. I take my rejections and move on to the next person, hoping for better. I don't waste my time trying to decide which city is the unfriendliest. I've done well enough in each one and I've modified my approach as time has passed in an effort to secure better results.

Seems to be working.


Wed May 09, 2007 2:14 pm
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I've never noticed anything special or particular in Minneapolis that's radically different from elsewhere.

But... there's something strange about Madison, I think it's the water -- people are suspiciously nice there. Through the whole god damn city you've got people walking around looking happy. Must be the hippy vibe.


Wed May 09, 2007 3:11 pm
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i'm well aware it happens everywhere, one way or the other.

my bad experiences in wisconsin didn't leave me tainted about madison! mainly, i think it's because i associate wisconsin with my exhusband.

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Wed May 09, 2007 4:54 pm
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Post You live there try being a tourist!
So for those of you that know me, which is probably only a few of you since I haven't been in the scene for so long, know that I live in Iowa. I grew up in the Twin Cities though, Maple Grove representing. Any who I'm old now 34, married 4 years and have a new born son. I love going to the Cities and catching up with friends and hanging out, but what I don't like is the fact that I get looked down upon by the scene. I don't look Goth/Rivethead/Darksider anymore. I can't, I have a family and a mortgage not to mention that I live in a very conservative area despite it being a college town and I have to work a job that pays the bills. Deep down in my heart I'm still the pierced up/dread locked/all black wearing rivet head I always was but I don't look it on the outside anymore. What I'm getting to is this, so I'm hanging out in Minneapolis and I get the cold shoulder from the people I identify with. It's frustrating. You see I'm a pretty cool person and I know a lot of cool people in the scene, but because I'm an out of towner that's only in the city a couple of times a year I feel like I'm not invited to the fun. Which sucks. And this problem has been happening for a long time. In the "industrial" scene the one thing I always noticed was how exclusive it felt. No matter how cool you thought a band was you always had someone saying; "Well they suck you should check out this band..." while seeing said sucky band live at First Ave. It was always just confusing to me. Really can't we all just get a long.

Any who, I'm looking really forward to my next trip up to the cities, so if you see a somewhat over weight middle aged man pushing a stroller in a Lucio Fulci Zombie T-shirt say hi!

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Fri May 11, 2007 3:59 pm
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GHCE has it right
The difference is the local personality
I have found Mnnesotans to be less openly arrogant that us Texans
It doesn't mean Minnesotans are nicer, it just means that they aren't as up front with their feelings
I have had much more difficulty up north than down south
It has to do with My own personality and not those of the locals

There are arrogant pricks everywhere
No need to look any further than some of our regulars

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Fri May 11, 2007 4:42 pm
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rskm1 wrote:
I went to Industrial Strength Sundays every week for about 3 or 4 years without anyone ever talking to me. That was fine by me; I didn't talk to any of them! But I didn't get KICKED OUT of the place or EXCLUDED, so I'd look pretty damn stupid whining about it not being a "welcoming" scene. If I wanted to hang out with people who ran up and licked strangers or groped people that were trying to dance, I'd surround myself with filthy hippies instead of goths.


Hey, I always talked to you.


Great thread BTW.

I have found most people to be quite friendly in the “scene” There are quite a few newbie’s who don’t talk much (particularly on Mondays) but I attribute that to them being young. We have this new influx of people 18-20, they tend to stick to themselves. I can remember when I was that age; I was very shy and reserved too. Give them some time (and a few drinks when they are of age) and they will come right out of their shells.

My .02 cents

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Mon May 14, 2007 10:05 am
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dj_Krusty wrote:
Load the kids up with liquor and they'll talk, Talk, TALK!!! AHAHAHEHEHEHEHE!!!


Mon May 14, 2007 9:49 pm
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GodCoversHisEyes wrote:
dj_Krusty wrote:
Load the kids up with liquor and they'll talk, Talk, TALK!!! AHAHAHEHEHEHEHE!!!


Exactly

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Tue May 15, 2007 7:19 pm
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Post Re: You live there try being a tourist!
Microwaved wrote:
What I'm getting to is this, so I'm hanging out in Minneapolis and I get the cold shoulder from the people I identify with. It's frustrating. You see I'm a pretty cool person and I know a lot of cool people in the scene, but because I'm an out of towner that's only in the city a couple of times a year I feel like I'm not invited to the fun. Which sucks. And this problem has been happening for a long time. In the "industrial" scene the one thing I always noticed was how exclusive it felt.

I know exactly what you mean, M; just substitute "African American" for "Out-of-towner". I've lived here most of my life and I have always been a ghost in the local scene, seen but unseen, even when I worked at Ground Zero years ago. But you know how it goes; a lot of good books are ignored because the covers don't seem to fit the material.


- Heretic


Fri May 18, 2007 3:24 pm
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Post Re: You live there try being a tourist!
Heretic wrote:
Microwaved wrote:
What I'm getting to is this, so I'm hanging out in Minneapolis and I get the cold shoulder from the people I identify with. It's frustrating. You see I'm a pretty cool person and I know a lot of cool people in the scene, but because I'm an out of towner that's only in the city a couple of times a year I feel like I'm not invited to the fun. Which sucks. And this problem has been happening for a long time. In the "industrial" scene the one thing I always noticed was how exclusive it felt.

I know exactly what you mean, M; just substitute "African American" for "Out-of-towner". I've lived here most of my life and I have always been a ghost in the local scene, seen but unseen, even when I worked at Ground Zero years ago. But you know how it goes; a lot of good books are ignored because the covers don't seem to fit the material.


- Heretic


i don't think it has anything to do with your ethnicity or where you are from. when i first moved back here, after leaving for 6 years (and having been in the "scene" for at least 6 years prior to that) most of the people that i had known before had stopped going out, moved away, etc. so i had to completely start overing getting to know people, to meet them. now, i can, at times, be one of the most shy people around. going up to people i don't know makes me slightly panic. it's taken me the last 6+ years of being back (what's with the 6's?) to really start being comfortable talking to people, even people i don't know.

it just takes time. it also helps if you move around the room and talk to different groups of people vs just standing off to the side by yourself, expecting others to come up to you.

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Sat May 19, 2007 6:39 pm
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Post Re: You live there try being a tourist!
eiregirl wrote:
I don't think it has anything to do with your ethnicity or where you are from.

Of course it does. How people everywhere react to a person is almost always a result of their perception of who that person is. What you wear, the color of your hair, what you look like...people draw conclusions based on these things. It seems to me that the local scene reacts similarly; not worse or better, just the same as any other group of people. And from some of the other posts I've read, this is an aspect of the local scene that bothers some.

Quote:
it just takes time. it also helps if you move around the room and talk to different groups of people vs just standing off to the side by yourself, expecting others to come up to you.

In the past, I've spent quite a bit of time trying to find and get to know other people with a taste for the darker aspects of life, entertainment and culture. And while it has proven difficult for me, I have yet to give up trying. More recently, I joined the new Goth Meetup group here in the Twin Cities as a means of doing this without being forced to go to bars. To date, it has been one of the more successful ways I've found to meet others who share my interests.

It would appear that my past experiences have been somewhat different from yours. I am far from shy or unassuming, and while being more proactive about meeting others is good advice for some, it pretty much describes the approach I have taken.


- Heretic


Thu May 24, 2007 12:05 pm
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i didnt talk to people for years and years and i certainly didnt start whining & blaming everyone else for how snotty & clicky & cold "the scene" and "minnesota" is. its THEM not ME. is a lame stance to take. just hang out, be yourself and dont worry about anyone or anything... go to events, shows, gatherings and people will eventually get to know you thats all there is to it. now if you act "creepy" ... your on your own.


Thu May 24, 2007 12:58 pm
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mzmelissa wrote:
its THEM not ME. is a lame stance to take.


i agree. i've never wasted time worrying about how everyone else was treating me. if i want to talk, i talk, if i don't, i don't. i don't let it worry me, most of the time i'm there for music, not conversation anyway. i also think it's important for people to pay attention to body language. on the occasions where i've felt like meeting a person or talking to someone that i didn't know i've never had a problem. this is because i only approach people who look welcoming/open to conversation.
the only time i ever had a "bad" experience at a club was in wisconsin. some evil girls made sure i felt completely alienated as soon as i walked in the door, who knows why. but i certainly don't let that base my opinion of their entire scene. just my opinion of wisconsin girls. just kidding. it can happen anywhere.


Thu May 24, 2007 2:30 pm
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nametag wrote:
mzmelissa wrote:
some evil girls made sure i felt completely alienated as soon as i walked in the door, who knows why. but i certainly don't let that base my opinion of their entire scene.


mzmelissa wrote:
its THEM not ME. is a lame stance to take. just hang out, be yourself and dont worry about anyone or anything...

Agreed. Creating blame and using it to whitewash an entire group of people isn't much more than a pitiful prejudgement. And while some people have had difficulties, I would hope that those experiences would be seen as particular to those instances, rather than typical of the entire local scene.


- Heretic


Thu May 24, 2007 3:16 pm
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